Insights for Small Groups and Small Group Leadership from Ed Welch

 In this series I am surveying the most useful insights from books that are geared towards small groups. I survey books across a spectrum of perspectives, including non-Christian sources. I’ve tried to distill the best takeaways into short articles that will both guide the culture of Calvary Presbyterian Church in Raleigh, NC, as well as provide some short and practical articles to inspire and guide a small group leader in any context. I hope you find these helpful! 

My focus is on distilling practical takeaways and insights from every book and communicating them in ways that can be applied the next time your small group gathers. I don’t necessarily recommend reading every book. Also, sometimes the things I write will be more“inspired” by what I read than what the person actually wrote. These aren’t book reviews or book reports. My goal is to give practical instruction for small groups and provide a vision for what Jesus calls the Church to be for the glory of God, and these are the books that happen to inspire each individual article.

Don’t forget, you need the Holy Spirit for any of this to work. You’re not good enough—and neither am I. So let’s start with prayer:

Father, please guide us by the power of Your Holy Spirit to be what you intended us to be as a Church. Give us insight, inspiration, and intentionality. Use us. Create around us and draw us into small group communities that help us and everyone around to see Jesus more and more clearly as you shape us to more and more be the People of God you call us to be. We ask this in Jesus’ name. Amen.

Welch, Edward T. Caring for One Another: 8 Ways to Cultivate Meaningful Relationships. Wheaton: Crossway, 2018.

The world wants to be cared for. The most popular TV shows that have grabbed hearts and drawn people in have been about people living in community well. The reason those shows get many seasons and high ratings is because they provide a vicarious experience of what we’re all longing for: community. The world is longing for community. By God’s common grace many people get tastes of community. There is no experience like the community that comes together when a marching band spends all season preparing a show, or the cast and crew of a musical finally start their run, or when a sports team practices, wins and loses together. But the church is the community that God means to be a unique witness the community humanity is made for.

Jesus said, “By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” (John 13:35) Jesus is speaking about how Christians are meant to create a new community that loves one another better than any other community ever has or ever will. Christians are meant to create a community that is a witness to Jesus’ work in them and in-between them. Christians are meant to live in the fullness of humanity that is only possible in a community—a caring community. How we Christians care for one another is supposed to be something special, something that stands out, something that makes other-than-Christians looking in from the outside say, “What makes them that way? What is going on with them? They seem different, and I wish I could be a part of that!” 

At the heart of community are people who actively care for one another well. If we’re not caring for one another, actually providing care—whether that means emotional support, spiritual advice, or physical provision—we haven’t entered into community yet. Until someone in a group has struggled with something and received care, I don’t know that community has yet been created.

So how do we get there? What does a small group that cares for one another look like? How should you lead your small group in ways that will lead to community and a witness for Jesus as we care for one another? 1) Leadership. 2) Listening. 3)Truth. And 4) Time.

1) LEADERSHIP: The group will follow your lead—so share your neediness if you want them to share theirs. 

If we want to have groups where people are sharing their needs: making requests for prayer for serious things, seeking guidance, seeking help—we have to start by humbly being needy as leaders. Obviously we don’t want to abuse the group. We’re not forming these groups so we leaders can basically have our own little me-centered support group. But getting the group to become a place where others feel comfortable getting vulnerable will probably involve you getting vulnerable first: taking a risk by being the first person to express your own needs first. And this is humbling. 

You start by admitting you don’t have it all together, and in some appropriate yet specific way make your failure known—so that the group can pray for you, maybe give you some good advice, or possibly sacrifice for you. It seems counter-intuitive. We, the leaders, are supposed to be the self-sacrificial ones—and that is true—but to create a group where people share their neediness we have to lead with our own neediness. As one pastor put it, we have to share our “abundance of poverty.”

There are plenty of wisdom and context issues to temper what I’ve said here. However, if we small group leaders want our groups to share their neediness with one another and be vulnerable enough to create real community, it has to start with us.

2) LISTENING: Share like family and be interested in each other’s little “insignificant” details.

I have a confession: When I forget that we’re all human-beings-made-in-the-image-of-God and that ordinary life is what we were made for I start to devalue small-talk. But small talk is the grease that makes relationships flow. The real trick is remembering that small talk is the minutia that life is made of. Sometimes all the important details you need to know about people are hidden inside the small talk. So we need to listen to each other and listen hard. We need to listen to care. Listen to remember. Listen to discern. We need to pursue people and beg them to talk so we can listen. We need to make sure people know we will listen because we do care! We need to listen and take each other’s lives seriously. 

This applies to everyone always, but I want to make a special note about younger people. No matter how much perspective being older may give us, we need to remember when listening to a younger person: their seemingly-small-to-us drama is the most important thing to them, and may be the hardest thing they’ve ever faced so far. So we listen to “silly issues” and take them incredibly seriously, that’s how we get relational capital to be allowed to be a part of shaping young hearts.

We need to listen and value little details that people share, and encourage them to share. As Ed Welch wrote, “What we hear might surprise us. After all, most people are not often asked about themselves, so we might hear much more than basic information. We might hear about things worth celebrating; we might hear of personal hardships.” (20)

Once again, the group will follow your lead. You need to listen more than talk; you need to listen intently; you need to try hard to remember what you listen to; listen in a way that invites others to talk; ask good questions. But at the end of day (or the beginning of the group), you may have to start the talking. You can’t dominate the conversation, but don’t be afraid to be the one who starts. It seems like a courtesy to wait until someone else is the first to go through the food line, but if no one goes first, no one can go second. If you’ll just go ahead, walk up to the front, and get some food everyone else will eat 10 minutes earlier—instead of playing the “who is going to go first” game. The same applies to talking. Share the details of your life and assume that others around you care about them…and assume THAT THEY SHOULD CARE! The group will follow your lead. Even if it’s just that you took your dog for a walk on a nice day or that you like that new TV show on ABC. Don’t be afraid to talk. You may need to in order to get others talking. Just make sure you listen. Even if it’s only talking about the weather, in little details is the stuff of life. “The purpose in a man’s heart is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out.” (Proverbs 20:5)

3a) TRUTH 1: Go ahead and have awkward conversations about the deep stuff.

When small details lead to deeply knowing someone, be thankful and consider finding out deep things about a person as a gift. May it be a gift that your whole group gifts one another with abundance. 

But getting there can be a chore. Going deep takes safety. Safety takes time and risk. It’s easy to keep conversation surface level. It’s also easy to fake deepness by saying spiritual and emotional phrases, not really sharing our hearts. Don’t be afraid to ask follow up questions to what someone says and go one step further than what they said. If we’re going to be transformed by our time in a group, we’re going to have to get honest: honest about our anger, honest about relationships—family, friends, romantic, platonic—honest about our hurts. 

Anyone reading this can be a shepherd of hearts and healer of souls with good, open-ended questions.  For low-hanging fruit, ask the “therapist question” that gets used in so many parodies, but it’s cliche because it’s a good question: “How did that make you feel?” It’s a great question to start down a productive and intimacy-creating rabbit hole. And Ed Welch’s advice is to 

“follow the strong emotions….listen for the joys and sorrows, the hopes and fears, and we take an interest in them. Enjoy the good. We search for ‘love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, [and] self-control’ (Gal. 5:22-23) and other character qualities that look like Jesus. When we see or hear those reflections of Christ, we enjoy them, point them out, and simply like the person. Have compassion when there is trouble, and there will be a lot (John 16:33). The longer you walk with someone, the more trouble you will hear. We want to grow in compassion when we hear it.” (27–28) 

Then you can do the thing that can feel really awkward, especially if you’re not used to it: having some discernment of the heart, of people’s pain, of relationships, of what’s going on; and bring Jesus into it. You can talk about Jesus, not as a platitude, but because He is the one who heals, who has enabled all forgiveness, and provides the new and living way from hurt to healing. Ed Welch cautions, “Helpers [should] walk carefully…[People’s] responses [to Jesus] reveal important matters, but when we care for others, we rarely rush in to the heart’s responses first. Instead, we linger on the relationships that have been painful…we walk with care toward another person’s heart. [Nevertheless,] help, at its best, brings Christ early and often.” (36–37)  

Don’t get me wrong, bringing Jesus’ name into things as a platitude is annoying and painful and damaging. But, as I am constantly reminded, in the end, all healing is a product of God’s grace in Jesus Christ. Jesus is the answer, and it is the world, the flesh, and the devil that make us feel awkward saying it. The application is more complicated, but it starts with Jesus—not ends with Jesus. It is sin in us and the deceit of the world that makes us hesitant to point to Jesus and go to him in prayer or point out ways that Jesus’ teachings, grace, cross, kingship, or return are the hope and power that can guide us now and keep us going until His Spirit brings healing or he returns to make all things right. 

If you do find yourself uncomfortable with what I just wrote, I get that. I’m a professional religious talker. I get paid to point to Jesus, and sometimes I’m hesitant to do so. Shame on me. We’re hesitant because so many people have done it badly—insensitively. Maybe we’ve been the recipients of spiritually insensitive Jesus-talk and we just don’t want to be the perpetrators. Here’s some guidance from Welch,

“Be personal…God is personal, so we are personal with him and each other…[as friends, we] enter in, [enjoy one another], bear burdens, and even share what is on our own hearts. We enjoy others and the good things they have received:

"I am so happy for you.” "Let's celebrate together.” "What a great gift. This is just wonderful.” We also enjoy them and the good things that come out of their hearts: "Your openness about your life has been such a lesson to me about grace.” "Thank you so much for your concern for me. It reminds me that I am not alone.” "I so appreciate seeing the patience and kindness you give to your children.” We have compassion as we share in their burdens and sufferings: "I'm so sorry.” "This seems so hard. Could you tell me a little more?” "You are on my heart.” We "rejoice with those who rejoice, [and] weep with those who weep" (Rom. 12:15) because doing so reflects the character of God. The rule for being personal is to say something when you are given access to someone's treasures. It doesn't have to be much. What guides our responses is both the Golden Rule (Matt. 7:127) and humility. The Golden Rule asks, "What have other people said to me that was helpful and encouraging?" Humility asks, "What could help and encourage you?" When we don't know what to say, we ask for help.

As a variation of the Golden Rule you could also consider what has been unhelpful to you and others. For example, it is almost always unhelpful to give advice to someone who is troubled unless the troubled one asks. Advice is what we would do in another's situation, even though we might never have been in that situation. It typically sounds teacher-like, and it bypasses compassion. It is rarely personal. So hold back your advice unless it is requested. … Be personal—that is, move toward people, know others, be moved by those things that are important. Pray for and with people—the best care identifies the needs in our lives that can be met only in Jesus Christ. Those are our most important and deepest needs.” (45–47, 49)

That sounds like hard advice, but it’s fairly easy. Ask questions, listen, express sympathy, hold advice unless asked for, offer to pray for people and do pray for people, and if appropriate, always encourage with the fact that Jesus can and will fix things. And if it seems awkward, I think it’s mostly because of that nagging unbelief we have. Lord, I believe! Help my unbelief! (Mark 9:24)

3b) TRUTH 2: Talk about sin, and use the word “sin”. Start by talking about your own sin.

We have to talk about sin to grow. Sin is the thing that is wrong with us. David didn’t pray, “Help me make better choices about which women I sleep with,” he prayed, “Have mercy on me, O God, according to your steadfast love; according to your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions. Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin!” (Psalm 51:1–2) The Apostle Paul didn’t say our biggest problem in the world is a need for education and to end systemic abuses (though I don’t think he’s against those things—don’t hear what I’m not saying), but Paul said, 

“Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, to make you obey its passions. Do not present your members to sin as instruments for unrighteousness, but present yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life, and your members to God as instruments for righteousness….Do you not know that if you present yourselves to anyone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one whom you obey, either of sin, which leads to death, or of obedience, which leads to righteousness? But thanks be to God, that you who were once slaves of sin have become obedient from the heart to the standard of teaching to which you were committed, and, having been set free from sin, have become slaves of righteousness. I am speaking in human terms, because of your natural limitations. For just as you once presented your members as slaves to impurity and to lawlessness leading to more lawlessness, so now present your members as slaves to righteousness leading to sanctification….But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the fruit you get leads to sanctification and its end, eternal life…” (Romans 6:12-13, 16-19, 22)

Or more simply, the Apostle John said, “If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.” (1 John 1:8) And Ed Welch concludes, “Our goal is to contribute to a community in which it is increasingly natural to talk about sin and ask each other for help.” (61)

We don’t need to be having confession times in small groups or call one another out all the time. But where we see sin, we do need to graciously talk about it with each other. Matthew 18:15–18 and Luke 17:3–4 are a helpful guide if you’re seeing another person sin. Where we’re struggling with sin, we need to confess (see James 5:16). We do well to share sin with our small groups or at least with appropriate people in our small groups. Fighting sin is one of the main places where Christian growth happens, and if we’re never talking about sin, confessing sin, and repenting of sin, we’re not growing in the Christian walk. Ed Welch encourages, “The first words are the hardest. When you have no idea what to say, be honest…If you have clear evidence of sinful actions, be specific. If you have concerns or questions, raise them without accusing. All this can be hard, but, if we are left with regrets, most of us regret not saying something.” (62) Never accuse. Stay in it with people. Tell them you love them and are committed to them. Ask how you can help. Let them know “we” are in this together. (Use “we” a lot, Welch suggests.) And end time hearing someone’s confession of sin or talking about sin with someone by saying, “Thank you.” Remember, “if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:1–2)

When your small group gets where this happens and it doesn’t make you wonder if everything is falling apart, you’ve reached a profound level of intimacy with your group. Talking about sin isn’t a sign a bunch of messed up people are in your group—that is a given!—it’s a sign that your group is becoming a Christian community. “Could you imagine a community in which we can confess our sins to one another, and we respond to such confessions and pleas with humility, gentleness, patience, and prayer?” (##) May it be so for us!

4) TIME: Let’s Care for One Another and Lean Into Community in Our Small Groups

Care leads to compassion and confession and community. But in the end nothing builds community except time together—caring for one another in the everyday. There can’t be quality time without quantity time. If we’re not spending time together, we can’t care for each other the way Jesus intends. Adulthood is hard. There are communities that thrive without tons of time together. But it’s normally because of time spent together previously or a special grace and intentionality that aren’t part of normal congregational life. For church small-groups, if we’re not spending enough time together to occasionally sin against one another, we’re probably not spending enough time together to be a community. But above all, if we’re not in one another’s lives enough to really care for each other, to really go through hard things together, to really get into deep conversations, and to really want to call on the people in our small group when things get tough, we’re not caring the right way yet; we’re not a community yet. So start with time together, lean into the awkward things, listen to each other, care for one another. With listening, truth, time and the grace of God, our communities will become beautiful redemptive communities that feed into and shape the larger community of the Church by the power of the Holy Spirit.

An Advent Letter on Christmas Eve

Friends, 

As we come into the last week of Advent 2021 I wanted to say something. 

I heard someone say last night that 2021 has been worse than 2020. I don’t know if that’s true for you or not. I know that for many these pandemic years have taken a significant toll on mental and emotional health, cracks in the seams of family relationships have become chasms, the lonely have felt more lonely and cut off than ever, financial struggles from lack of work have burdened to the point of breaking, and church attendance has atrophied. If you feel those frustrations, you’re not alone. I know some lucky few have actually found the pandemic a time of odd rest from business and hurried lives that has afforded them more time with family, less pressure from work, and even a time for reflection and setting new directions. 

Whichever your experience has been, you know the longing of anticipation. Anticipation that the pain and heartache will end, anticipation in beginning the new journey, anticipation at being set free from pandemic restrictions, anticipation of the new season right around the corner. Our whole world has groaned under this pandemic in one way or another, as life as we knew it got put on pause and societal ills got put on magnify. 

I feel anticipation of things we’re planning in the next few years. In fact, I want to say specifically to my friends involved with church planting: I hope you feel anticipation for the first time we get to have worship in Yukon. I hope you feel anticipation for seeing people in Bethany and Mustang and Yukon come to Christ. I hope you feel anticipation for making Christ known in our little corner of the woods. Our work for Christ won’t change the world (that’s God’s job), but the Holy Spirit will use our worship and work, our fellowship and fun, our service and sacrifice to change a few people’s worlds in our little corner of Oklahoma that God has given us as a gift. We get to participate in seeing the New Creation break in where God has called us to be.  

But we don’t see that in fulness until the actual return of Jesus. That’s Advent. Seeing the light, knowing the hope, smelling the goodies, but not getting to taste it until Christmas. Until Christ comes. Until the Last Day. 

I know some of my friends that don’t believe in the Jesus stuff I believe in will read that last part and cringe a little. The Last Day. Like Judgement Day? Yeah, like Judgement Day. I know you’ve heard condemning, mean-spirited people talk about Judgement Day and how sinners (maybe they were pointing at you, talking about you, which is why it felt especially offensive) are going to hell. No one likes to be talked to that way, and most people will rightly walk away from someone that yells at them that God hates them. When I talk about Judgement Day, I’m anticipating a day when all wrongs will be put right. A day when all the pain will stop. A day when every tear will be wiped from every eye, and death will be no more. Neither will there be mourning nor crying anymore for all the mental and emotional health problems, relational chasms, loneliness, struggles, sickness, arguments, disagreements, racism, -phobias, pandemics, pressures, and pains will have passed away, and you can finally experience that blessed time of never-ending celebration, opportunity, prosperity, and happiness. (See Revelation 21, especially verses 1 through 8. And even when you get to that uncomfortable stuff about people bring thrown into the fire: Do you not want murderers, the sexually immoral—like child molesters and rapists—or liars like conmen and swindlers brought to justice? That’s the Judgement Day I’m talking about. The day of never ending feast where wine and joy will flow and all the brokenness will be gone. 

But that day only comes with Jesus. We look forward to his return, just as the Israelites looked for the coming of their Messiah. Admittedly, their Messiah didn’t do things the way they expected or when they expected. Their Messiah came to a poor family in out-of-the-way Nazareth, lived in obscurity, and then died on a cross to pay for the sins of His People. But Revelation is clear that the next time he comes it will be quite a bit more, shall we say, flashy. And we know he has the power to do this because Jesus didn’t stay dead. He rose again from the dead after dying on the cross, proving Jesus is the indeed the savior of the world everyone has been and is waiting for—whether they realize it or not, Jesus is the resolution to all our groaning. 

But in the meantime. We wait. We anticipate. We hope. And I guess I just wanted to write to encourage you: keep waiting, keep anticipating, keep hoping; your hope will not be put to shame. Let your hope in Jesus fuel love for God, love for those around you, and love for the place God has called you right now, in whatever circumstances right now. Keep taking your struggles, pains, and tears to God in prayer. I know it’s taking forever. But healing is coming. I know it’s been hurting for a long time, but relief is coming. I know you want things fixed now, but justice and righteousness are coming. This hope is for you. It may be dark now, but light is coming. Jesus is coming. And that makes me want to celebrate. 

I hope you have Merry Christmas. 

Wes

A PRAYER BASED ON Exodus 22:21-27, Deuteronomy 34:1-12, Psalm 90; Leviticus 19:1-2, 15-18, Psalm 1; 1 Thessalonians 2:1-8; Matthew 22:34-46, and BCP2019 Collect

Almighty and everlasting God, you govern all things both in heaven and on earth: Mercifully hear the supplications of your people, and in our time grant us your peace;

Father, we are but a moment in time, but you are forever. We may do great things, even as Moses did, and yet after a short time of mourning the world moves on. May we be ever so satisfied with the fact that you see us and know us, that we would ever lead faithfully and never think too highly of ourselves. Would you give churches pastors full of the Spirit and bless the work of of their hands for the growth and prospering of your kingdom and those souls within in their cities. Lead pastors to constantly remind your people that you have been and will be their dwelling place in all generations. I pray their work would never be in vain, but that they would walk approved before you, speaking the true gospel, being affectionate toward the people you give them, always considering them dear.

Holy Spirit, so teach the people of our churches to number their days that they may get a heart of wisdom; satisfy them in the morning with your steadfast love, that they may rejoice and be glad all their days. Let you work be shown to them and through them, let your favor be upon them and establish the work of their hands; oh yes, for churches establish the work of their hands and guide them such that they would be a beacon to tier communities, leading many to Christ; flourishing in holiness. Always protect the people of churches from sins of injustice, and give them hearts to love and value what you love and value. If there be any sin known or unknown where they have wronged or oppressed, may they remember how you deliver them from the devil, and create a picture in them of the gospel in their repentances. So work in them that they indeed would be a holy people, for you, their God, are holy. Work in their hearts that they would delight in you and your law, have their way established as the righteous; that they would love you with all their heart, soul, mind, and strength, and love their neighbor as themselves;

I pray all this through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever.  Amen.

Pastoral Prayer for June 28, 2020 from Psalm 89 and BCP-19 Proper 8

O God, Blessed Trinity,

I will sing of the steadfast love of the LORD, forever;

with my mouth I will make known your faithfulness to all generations.

For I said, “Steadfast love will be built up forever;

in the heavens you will establish your faithfulness.”

You have said, “I have made a covenant with my chosen one…”

We thank you that in Christ, all your church is your chosen. We thank you that in Christ we can be before you as Son and Daughters, and we pray for the growth of your church. Here at Heritage, we continue to ask that even in the midst of pandemic, somehow, before this year is out, rather than decline, we would see 10 news families and 12 believer’s baptisms. We thank you that even in this we’ve had new visitors.

We pray that Bible believing, Jesus loving, gospel preaching churches all over Oklahoma and the world would see this sort of growth.

Righteousness and justice are the foundation of your throne;

steadfast love and faithfulness go before you.

In the midst of pandemic, turmoil also rages in our nation. Calls for justice go up. Where justice needs to be meeted out, you say the authorities are meant to be your servants: give authorities wisdom to bring justice and remove those agents and systems that would hinder justice. Where hearts celebrate and long for that which is evil, change hearts or bring them down. We thank you that even now there is movement where people are standing up and saying, We must no longer celebrate that which was wicked; there are people admitting that they did not realize that harm they did. That’s you at work.

Blessed are the people who know the festal shout,

who walk, O LORD, in the light of your face,

who exult in your name all the day

and in your righteousness are exalted.

For you are the glory of their strength;

by your favor our horn is exalted.

We lift up to you today those suffering from terminal diseases and their families. Soon those in Christ will indeed walk in the light of your face. As they prepare for death would you draw those who don’t know you to faith in their final hours, that your name would one day be praised when we find out just how big your grace is; provide the dying comfort that, as terrible as death is, death is not the end; for the Christian, to be away from the body is to be with you, and you promise that one day you will raise them who trust in you up in glory, with new bodies that will never die again. Praise you, thank you. Hasten that resurrection, Lord. I especially raise up to you Teresa who’s cancer will be taking her any time now, and we lift others up to you now…

I pray for the families and mourners of those who have already died. To be separated by death is a terrible thing. I can only imagine it is all the more terrible for those who don’t actually have resurrection hope. Would you use people’s deaths, whether from COVID or otherwise, to draw people’s minds and hearts to consider the purpose of their life and face their own mortality, use pastors performing funerals to boldly and compassionately proclaim the gospel and, Holy Spirit, draw people to hope even in the tears. I pray for the family and friends of my friend Frank who I hope has joined you now, and thank you that it seems you truly did draw him to peace in these last couple of years. We lift others up to you…

Remember how short my time is!

For what vanity you have created all the children of man!

What man can live and never see death?

Who can deliver his soul from the power of Sheol?

Only you, Lord.

O God, your never-failing providence sets in order all things both in heaven and on earth: Put away from us all hurtful things, and give us those things that are profitable for us; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. 

Blessed be the LORD forever!

Amen and Amen.

Pastoral Prayer for Sunday May 31, 2020 (Pentecost Sunday) from BCP2019, Acts 2:1-21, Genesis 11:1-9, Numbers 11:24-30; Psalm 104; 1 Corinthians 12:3-13; John 14:8-17, John 20:19-23, John 7:37-39

Bless the LORD, O my soul!

O LORD my God, you are very great!

You are clothed with splendor and majesty,

covering yourself with light as with a garment,

stretching out the heavens like a tent.

Almighty God, through the outpouring of the Holy Spirit, you revealed the way of eternal life to every race and nation: Pour out this gift anew, that by the preaching of the Gospel your salvation may reach to the ends of the earth;

But on this Pentecost Sunday, the division between race and nation is very visible, especially here in the United States. Please have mercy and let justice roll down like roaring waters. May cool heads prevail and may there be real movement to address systemic racism and social breakdown. Father, once upon a time at Babel you divided the people as a judgment upon them for trying to be God, and since that day you have been reuniting and reconciling the one human race. Would you do so today. May Your Spirit rain peace upon our country where right now outrage is sparking violent action, and would you, by your hand, protect people as they decide how best to respond, keep people safe today as the protests continue in Oklahoma City and in our nation: especially we pray for Moose and other police officers and national guard that seek only to protect and serve (…), give them wisdom and safety; and we pray for our black friends Dominique, Clifford, Jasper, and more (…) and especially we pray for Christian ministers who are black; here in Oklahoma City: Ernest, Michael, Derrick; and in our denomination: Mike Higgins, Thurman Williams, Wy Plummer, Carl Ellis, and many more; all these who feel the constant weight of being Christians who want to see reconciliation, but who know the constant fear that comes simply because they are black, even though they are those who seek to live righteous lives. Preserve them. Use their actions, and ours, to bring change. 

Bring down those who would use this as an opportunity for wickedness, vandalism, violence, and manipulation. As you brought people from many languages and ethnicities to become One People in Christ 2000 years ago upon the day of Pentecost, would you do so today, uniting people of all ethnicities, bringing justice where there is injustice, balance where there is imbalance, and peace to our nation.

But in all of this, we have a particular prayer for your Kingdom, that you would bring people to know Jesus Christ, for that is what brings true and ultimate reconciliation with you and with others. I continue to ask you for 12 baptisms of new believers and 10 new families this year at Heritage; but most of all I ask that in our City, nation, and world your name would be made known, lifted up, believed in, and you would draw many to faith. We lift up to you some of those we would like to see you save now. (…) Holy Spirit, come upon them as you’ve come upon us. And Lord Jesus, come soon!

May the glory of the LORD endure forever;

may the LORD rejoice in his works,

May my meditation be pleasing to him,

for I rejoice in the LORD.

Let sinners be consumed from the earth,

and let the wicked be no more!

Bless the LORD, O my soul!

Praise the LORD! Amen.

Pastoral Prayer for 2020.4.26 Based on Psalm 116 and ACNA BCP 2019

Father, may our hearts say

“I love the LORD, because he has heard

my voice and my pleas for mercy.

Because he inclined his ear to me,

therefore I will call on him as long as I live.”

But chiefly are we bound to praise you for the glorious resurrection of your Son Jesus Christ our Lord; for he is the true Passover Lamb, who was offered for us, and has taken away the sin of the world; who by his death has destroyed death, and by his rising to life again has won for us everlasting life.

But many of us today feel like we’re still in the middle of darkness, we say,

  “The snares of death encompassed me;

the pangs of Sheol laid hold on me;

I suffered distress and anguish.”

There are people suffering from this quarantine, spiraling into depression, loneliness, alcohol abuse, drug abuse, child abuse, spousal abuse. Lord, have mercy and deliver people from these vices. We lift some of these and ourselves up to you now, […] Holy Spirit, draw their hearts to call upon Jesus, that they would say,

“Then I called on the name of the LORD:

“O LORD, I pray, deliver my soul!”

  Gracious is the LORD, and righteous;

our God is merciful.”

As we start to consider opening up our countries, states, and cities again, give wisdom to those who lead, the Wold Health Organization, the CDC, Presidents, Governors, Mayors, and all officials, to make wise decisions regarding what are the right steps to keep people as healthy as possible, but also to care for the financial well being of their places. We especially pray for President Donald Trump, Dr. Anthony Fauci, Governor Kevin Stitt, Mayor David Holt, and others […]

The LORD preserves the simple;

when I was brought low, he saved me.

Return, O my soul, to your rest;

for the LORD has dealt bountifully with you.

  For you have delivered my soul from death,

my eyes from tears,

my feet from stumbling;

I will walk before the LORD

in the land of the living.

  I believed, even when I spoke:

“I am greatly afflicted”;

I said in my alarm,

“All mankind are liars.”

  What shall I render to the LORD

for all his benefits to me?

I will lift up the cup of salvation

and call on the name of the LORD,

I will pay my vows to the LORD

in the presence of all his people.

Father, there are many today that we would like to see pray this prayer, to put their faith in you and find salvation. I pray for my friend Nigel, for family members, and for my dear neighbors in my own neighborhood whom I care about. We lift up to you those we want you to draw to salvation. […] O God, let us see 12 believer’s baptisms before this year is out. May many churches see the growth of the Kingdom brought about because of your hand on this pandemic. We trust you.

O LORD, I am your servant;

I am your servant, the son of your maidservant.

You have loosed my bonds.

I will offer to you the sacrifice of thanksgiving

and call on the name of the LORD.

Praise the LORD! 

Almighty God, you gave your only Son to be for us both a sacrifice for sin and an example of godly living: Give us grace thankfully to receive his inestimable benefits, and daily to follow the blessed steps of his most holy life; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever.  Amen.

Pastoral Prayer for 2020.3.29 Based on Psalm 130

Out of the depths I cry to you, O LORD!

O Lord, hear my voice!

Let your ears be attentive

to the voice of my pleas for mercy!

You bid your faithful people cleanse their hearts, and prepare with joy for the Paschal feast; that, fervent in prayer and in works of mercy, and renewed by your Word and Sacraments, they may come to the fullness of grace which you have prepared for those who love you.

If you, O LORD, should mark iniquities,

O Lord, who could stand?

But with you there is forgiveness,

that you may be feared.

  I wait for the LORD, my soul waits,

and in his word I hope;

my soul waits for the Lord

more than watchmen for the morning,

more than watchmen for the morning.

Because we can trust you, O Lord, we lift up to you in this time of distress: Those that are ill; Front line workers; Those without work and wondering how they will make it; Kids in abusive or neglectful homes, likely made worse by the stress of our current situation; Our government and those in positions to make hard decisions; Our pastors and churches; Those with family members that are sick or dying but who cannot be with them because of the virus; Those who are postponing things like funerals indefinitely; People missing out on important life events like weddings, graduations, births, and other big life events, (I think of my friend Catherine, who is valedictorian, yet will never get to walk or give a valedictorian speech); we pray for First responders and our superb medical professionals; we ask for your Holy Spirit to work in us Faith over fear; we also seek to humble ourselves under this time of pandemic, and see those around us asking big questions, and for your grace to rightly present the gospel in new ways that speaks to their hearts and minds, that we would have wisdom in the ways we would communicate and comfort people and point them to Christ and offer them hope, as this pandemic that is under your control and will, continues. We ask you to bring it to an end soon and let us return to normal life.

Holy Spirit, help God’s People to hope in the LORD!

For with the LORD there is steadfast love,

and with him is plentiful redemption.

And he will redeem his church

from all their iniquities.

Almighty God, you alone can bring into order the unruly wills and affections of sinners: Grant your people grace to love what you command and desire what you promise; that, among the swift and varied changes of this world, our hearts may surely there be fixed where true joys are to be found; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever.  Amen.