*This is adapted from an email I wrote to our Life Group leaders. It’s shaped by our context at Calvary and my role here, but I think some general principles may be helpful more broadly. This isn’t meant to be an academic article—it’s a pastoral reflection interacting with ideas from Henry Cloud and John Townsend’s Making Small Groups Work.
I’ve been reading the prologue of a small group book with our Life Group leaders Making Small Groups Work by Cloud and Townsend. A couple of lines really lodged themselves in my brain:
“There is no one right way to do small groups.”
“While leaders might have a good curriculum that guides content, they need training in the process itself.”
That second line is the one that grabbed me: the process itself.
That’s probably the main thing I want from this book—to help us think about how to set up and lead processes in our small groups so that small groups actually change lives. Learning the art of process is the thing we need. We need to learn how to lead process. We even need to get clear on what we mean by process.
Because that’s really why we’re reading this: so we can better understand how people change, how people grow, and how we, as leaders, are meant to be facilitators of that change and growth.
The Problem Isn’t Curriculum
There is absolutely no shortage of curriculum. I could write one. You could write one. There are roughly 900 bajillion already out there.
Recently our groups used The Cure, and I’ve heard from several in our congregation about how it was helpful. This coming January and February, we’ll walk through a short six-week series on loving our neighborhoods (using Placed For a Purpose).
But beyond that, I don’t want to micromanage what every group studies.
Every Life Group has its own flavor—its own mix of geography, friendships, ages, and rhythms. One group might be mostly young families; another might be a mix of empty nesters and singles; another might have people driving in from all over. And that’s exactly as it should be. Different groups will need different things.
Yes, I’ll occasionally recommend something when it seems like there’s a shared need—maybe we all need help engaging more personally, or learning to love our physical neighbors better. But I don’t want to be the official “curriculum chooser.” (This is context and role specific to Calvary. In another place with different circumstances, I might approach this differently.)
Unless our session says otherwise, my role (see above disclaimer) isn’t to control what our groups look at together. My role is to help make sure that whatever you’re doing actually changes lives. I’m trying to shepherd us into being better process facilitators.
What Life Groups Are For
If our Life Groups are just getting together for food and fellowship, we’re not really using them for what they’re intended for.
Fellowship is good. Hanging out is good. Laughing together is good.
But Life Groups are meant to be our more personal, smaller context for active, personal shepherding. And the Life Group leaders are the shepherds. Anyone willing to lead, care, love, ask good questions, and shepherd can get in on this though! You don't need to be in the formal role!
I want our groups to be active vehicles of shepherding people toward Jesus. Places where holiness is stirred up. Places where personal growth is actually happening. Places where people are slowly, steadily becoming more like Christ because they’re being known, challenged, encouraged, and loved.
And that doesn’t come mainly through content.
Content and curriculum matter. They really do. But presented on their own, they don’t transform anyone. Every teacher knows this: the hardest part isn’t the material—it’s the process.
Where the Real Power Is
So what do I mean by process?
Process is the way the content gets worked into people’s lives over time. It’s:
- The real conversations after someone shares something vulnerable.
- The small moments, when someone goes out of their way to follow up midweek.
- The prayers where people risk being honest.
- The tears that show up when something finally hits a deep place.
- The decisions made in community—to forgive, to repent, to reach out, to take a next step.
- The confessions of sin that move beyond “I struggle sometimes” to “Here’s what’s actually going on.”
- The shared laughter that builds trust so that harder things can be shared.
- To learn how people change.
- To learn how God uses community to grow His people.
- To learn how we can better lead that growth as shepherds.
That’s the stuff that actually shapes a person over time. And as Life Group leaders, we’ve been called to shepherd that process.
You’re not just “running a study.” You’re tending people. You’re helping create an environment where the Spirit can work through Scripture, conversation, and community to change hearts.
What This Book (and This Season) Is Really About
So as we go through this book together, I want us to keep this front and center:
We are here to understand and practice process.
My prayer is that this doesn’t just help us “teach good content,” but that it trains us to lead real transformation through process.
If you’re a Life Group leader, a small group leader, or just someone who cares about people being changed by Jesus—not just informed about Him—then this is the invitation:
Don’t just ask, “What are we studying?”
Start asking, “What’s our process? How are we walking with people so that this actually sinks in?”
That’s where the real work—and the real joy—is.
*ChatGPT was used in editing for formatting but not in writing this content. I was overusing em dashes long before it was made cool by AI.
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