What Are We Trying to Do as Small-Group Leaders?

*This is adapted from an email I wrote to a group of small-group leaders. Though it’s tied to a specific discussion around a book we're reading together: Cloud and Townsend's Making Small Groups Work, the principles apply widely to anyone thinking about discipleship and spiritual growth. 

Perfectionism is a form of immaturity. Not seeking excellence is also a form of immaturity. But perfectionism is probably our immaturity of choice.

What knowing the gospel does—what knowing Jesus does—is make it possible for us to pursue excellence while still being comfortable (or at least not devastated) by failure. We can fail and keep going. As Cloud and Townsend say, “We have to humble ourselves in our own growth process first and keep practicing. Not perfectly but faithfully. Remember, the Bible shows that God uses faithful people, not perfect people.”

Part of what we get to do as small-group leaders is shape the experience of the people who come to our group—point them to Jesus, point them to the Bible, pray with and for them, encourage them, and yes, even exhort them. This is patient, slow work. It’s a work of asking questions and listening. We can’t just listen forever; there is a directive part of shepherding people. If people are in error, someone’s got to say something, and while it’s often good to wait a minute and see if someone else will say it—if they won’t, we have to. But there’s also a lot of grace. We don’t have to confront everything immediately. And when we can, it’s usually best to ask questions to help people confront themselves.

We’re going to make some missteps on that journey. We’re going to not speak when we should have, or we’re going to speak when we shouldn’t have. And in all of that, we’re going to need a constant confidence that we are forgiven, that Jesus is with us, and that we’ve been called to lead these groups.

The curriculums we decide to use provide content that gives us something to do. But it’s asking questions and listening, digging in with people—that’s where change is going to happen. That’s what’s really valuable. Cloud and Townsend write, “Your program or curriculum should guide you in terms of content… But what about goals that relate to process, not content? Which transcendent goals and tasks apply to each and every group, no matter what its purpose or topic? …We’re saying that regardless of the group’s specific task, there are transcendent purposes to which you can anchor yourself—and thus accomplish good in any group.”

These goals are what I’m hoping we can be moving toward—most of all, the goal of the ministry of reconciliation: reconnecting people to God, pointing them to the Bible, and walking together in experiencing grace, acceptance, and forgiveness that leads to learning God’s ways, trusting God, and ultimately obedience. Those are our groups’ overarching goals, no matter what content we’re using.