Reflections on Humility from A Godly Man's Picture by Thomas Watson

Monday, June 27, 2011

            A Godly Man is Humble.

            This is terrifying to read through and I hate it, and it makes me want to stop reading. Not because I don’t think it’s true, but because everything he talks about here, but what a man who is not humble is, describes me.

            And what’s worse, as I read, as moments or general attitudes are brought to mind by reading this, I immediately try to justify them, or make them not as bad in my mind. Or even try to deny, go, well, I guess I’m not actually this way, because this and this and this, but there I’m just justifying it again.

            But then, I really do have to go, where is that line? And, I know lines are a bad thing to look for, that’s just the best language I know to use, but, like, in business or the church, part of the way you get ahead IS by showing people how great you are, by making sure people know you’re good at what you do. So, then, I get lost in the mire of what is sin and what is legitimate in gaining positions I desire?

            But mostly, I don’t have to ask those questions, I’m just angry, and sad, and frustrated at myself, because I know how much this describes me and desperately don’t want it to describe me. But, get this, I want it to not describe me so I’ll be BETTER, so I gain more position, so I’ll be better qualified, so I’ll be better at what I do. Now, is that legitimate, I want to be godlier, so I can be a better pastor, a better man, or is that in itself not humility. And I know the answer lies in deeper motivations. Wanting to honor God and minister to his people, good. Just wanting to gain position, well, not sure, depends on why I want to gain it, for recognition and credit and the awesome factor, bad, but to serve God’s people, good.

            And I guess that is the one redeeming and encouraging factor (that I really only found as I wrote this, back when I started writing this, I was basically just despairing and sad and angry, but the one redeeming factor, I DO want to be godlier to honor God, I DO want to be better so that I can serve the Church better, I DO think I’m called to be a pastor and think these things are important and I do want to be good at them. So that is redeeming.

            But, I also know how dark my heart is. To say with Paul that even if someone else getting more credit than him because of their preaching, he’s find because Christ is being preached, I cannot say that at this point. I want people to think I’m awesome, to think that I’ll be the next Tim Keller, or better. I want to be the best. I’ve spent my whole life trying to be the best, trying to come out on top, and have done a pretty good job of moving that direction. But now, that is no longer supposed to be the motivation. Now it’s about being as good as I can be because I want to serve God and love people better, because God has loved me so much (1 John 4:19), and because Jesus calls me to love my neighbor.

            Of course, what if a more altruistic motive had motivated me in trumpet playing. What if I’d wanted to be better so I could be a better teacher, instead trying to do it so I wouldn’t have to teach? What if I’d wanted to be better because being a fine trumpet player who was a Christian was what I thought of as most God glorifying, rather than because being better made me better than others? What if I’d done it so I could share my gift, rather than because I wanted people’s praise and approval? Maybe I wouldn’t have stopped being a trumpet player. Maybe I’d still be pursuing that today. Maybe I would have approached it very differently and loved it a lot more than I did. Because I mostly pursued it because people thought I was awesome, and I loved that. It didn’t have near as much to do with me loving music that much.

           

Lord God, humble, yet mighty and great God. How wont I am to boast. How often I glorify my own name. How proud a man I am. How quick to ridicule others. How quick am I to search for praise. How much do I trumpet my own name, and search for praise from others. How quick am I to not trust you and think that you’ve put me in too lowly a place for someone as good as me. How little do I magnify Christ. How slow am I to stoop to meet those lower than myself. How often do I complain of the lowly estate you lead me to. Lord, I am a wretched man, and I forget it so easily. Oh, this evil heart of unbelief. I don’t think that I am bad, and evil, I forget who you are and who I am, I sin against you and I sin against others. I am a proud and arrogant man, and desperately need to be humbled. And not just to be humbled, but to receive the blessed gift of a humble heart. To not just be humbled, but to be humble, to be given a humble heart of flesh in place of this arrogant, proud, heart of stone I currently have. Lord, I invite the greatest gift you can give to me right now, and it’s a gift you only give to those you love, it’s a gift that I could only interpret as love by clinging very much to Christ, and knowing that He is my savior, and that all you do is sanctify me. So, I ask you Jesus, cling very tightly to me as I ask for this. Holy Spirit push me very close to God. God, be merciful to me. Forgive me, but Lord, I pray that you would rebuke me for my arrogance and Pride. A wise man loves godly rebuke, make me a wise man, make me a humble man. And Father, draw me very close to you as you do this, for what you might have to do to change me heart, scares me a lot, because I’m afraid it will feel like more than I can bear. But this is truly a request, and truly a time, which you ACTUALLY meant Philippians 4:13 to apply to. So, Lord, I know I can do all things through you, so, God, hold me tightly, rebuke me wisely. Give me a humble heart. I ask this, in true, a very true understanding, of fear and trembling. In Jesus name, Amen.

The Jesus Community

Getting saved is easy, becoming a community is hard.
In Eugene Peterson's Christ Plays in Ten Thousand Places, he looks at community, specifically, Jesus community, in the final section of the book. God actually says a lot about community. Because one of the big parts of Jesus' work, one of the big parts of his death on the cross and his resurrection, is the creation of community.
Yikes, there is just too much going on in my brain, too much to think about, to really turn this into a blog post. I'll say this.

The 10 Commandments give us a lot of guidance for community. Particularly how to live in community, and how much we need help to be a community.

Prayer, as Jesus teaches prayer, teaches us a lot about community. It teaches us that the Jesus community is inclusive, because anyone can go to God and anyone can belong in the Jesus community. It teaches us that the Jesus community is honest, with one another and God, and humble. And prayer let's us participate in what God is doing. And prayer changes us.

The Holy Spirit is absolutely necessary, indispensable for Jesus community. And the Holy Spirit creates community. In fact, when we see true community being formed, we should immediately know that the Spirit is present, because real community is impossible without supernatural help. Real community is the sign of the Spirit.

Community takes place in the real world, and it's dirty.

Jesus and Paul were not impressed with famous people, and didn't spend much time trying to get the powerful into the Jesus community (though that certainly doesn't mean we should neglect the famous and powerful, he certainly loved Nicodemus, Joseph of Arimathea, Paul was powerful in some ways, so, that's not to say we shouldn't love or include or evangelize the famous and powerful, we should, but it should always be relational, and it should be because God opened those doors for us.)

Community is important. We don't have enough community, I don't work hard enough for community. We should all pray that the Church would cultivate more Jesus Community in the world.

God, Lord God, I come to you with a short and to the point prayer. Create more Jesus community in the world. Bring more people, whether they're the famous and powerful, but especially the wretched, wounded, and sinful, into a Jesus Community of grace. Grow your Community, your Kingdom, to the ends of the Earth, and use us to do that. Use us by helping us love others, loving them so much that they would know it must be a supernatural love, and let us point them to Jesus, the lover of our souls, the Redeemer from our sins, and the one who sent us the Holy Spirit. Holy Spirit, help us create more gospel community, more loving community, more community, more Jesus Community. We ask this, in his name. Amen.

Salvation in the Everyday

One of the interesting concepts that Eugene Peterson talks about in Christ Plays in Ten Thousand Places is this idea that salvation is actually working itself out in the every day. Every moment and every thing that happens is a part of salvation working itself out.

Knowing this should actually change the way we live. Because, you see, knowing this puts us in a place to always be looking for where Jesus is at work. To always be asking "How is Jesus working out salvation right in this place, in these people, in me?" And to then try to interact with it, be a part of it, enhance it. Not that we can save ourselves, or that we bring about salvation, but certainly Jesus invites us to participate in salvation, both ours and those around us. So asking this question, looking for these opportunities, this is really the best way for us to develop a "ministry mindset" if you will.

By the way, when I talk about a "ministry mindset" I'm NOT talking about what I should be cultivating to be a successful pastor. I'm talking about what EVERY Christian should be cultivating. I'm talking about what YOU should be cultivating. Because ministry isn't something that professionals do. It's something that anyone who calls on the name of Jesus Christ does. If you are a Christian, YOU are in ministry. Full-time ministry. Whether you are  a cook, an engineer, a musician, a stay-at-home mom, if you are a Christian, you are in ministry.

And so now you can look around this world, in your life and the lives of the people around you, in your community, but also in all of history, and see Jesus working out his salvation in the world.

One note, Peterson makes the point that conversation is a lost art, and that Jesus did most of his ministry over meals. This is where conversations happen and the loss of meals together, whether it's family meals or meals with friends, is a terrible loss. We need to eat more meals together. But we also just need to be a people who make more and more ministry opportunities. Who have one another into our homes and into each others' lives more and more, whether it's having more game nights, more movies night, more coffee, more beer, or just more meals together, we need to live, as Dietrich Bonhoeffer called it, a Life Together. We all need to cultivate Christian community, because THAT is where salvation takes place.

Lord, make us a people who minister as you have ministered in us. Lord, teach us all, your entire Church, to love, and to bring your salvation to every part of creation. Help us to get over old and bad paradigms about how there's clergy and laity, and instead help us all see that being followers of Christ means living salvation lives. Help us all be on the look-out for and see opportunities to bring healing, to bring truth, to bring tears, to bring restoration, to bring resurrection. To bring salvation to all those around us. Not just by sharing the gospel with unbelievers, but by lovingly applying the gospel to lives of our family and friends around us every day. Encourage us to be a people who eat together, who make more and more opportunities to live out the gospel together. Lord, bring your salvation. We cannot make salvation, we can't save each other and we can't save ourselves. We are not God, only you, Jesus are God. Please bring your salvation to us. We ask this in your salvation bringing name. Amen.

Shalom

I'm really starting to think a lot about Shalom. Especially thinking about, if Jesus is really at work, creating, in everything, in the smallest thing, and we're called to always be Shalom bringers. Yikes, like, I just can't wrap my head around it, and I definitely can't capture it all in 5 minutes of blogging.

What really got me is when I started thinking about, we're called to be building the Kingdom in EVERYTHING, even my broken alternator that I'm replacing, is a chance for bringing Shalom. It's a ministry opportunity. It's so hard to see everything, even a broken alternator in a car, as a chance to bringing the Shalom of Jesus Christ into the world. But that's how big Jesus is, and that's how small a level he is working at.

I need to develop this sort of ministry mind set.

Lord God,
You've called me, and I thank you. You have brought and are bringing true peace, shalom, into my life, by freeing me from sin, forgiving me from sin, but also healing my pain. And now you've called me to be doing that, freeing the world from sin and healing pain, in everything. And I do not do well at seeing those opportunities, I don't do well at looking for those things. Teach me. Teach me, Lord. This is a paradigm changing idea about life, and about ministry. Lord, WHEREVER I have wrong paradigms, would you change them, would you give a teachable heart that's ready and willing to learn and be changed, by you, especially through other people. Lord, help me to bring Shalom. And help me remember that it's never me bringing Shalom. All the glory goes to you. Help me remember that for I often forget. Use me, Lord, to bring shalom in this world, help me see those opportunities in every moment, in the most "unspiritual" things, help me see you at work. I ask this with a willing and thankful heart that could only have been a gift from you, and in your Son's giving name. Amen.

On Christ Being Everywhere

It's weird to think that all of creation was made by Jesus. And that now his glory is ever present in creation. In fact, Jesus is still creating, and we are a part of it.
If you don't know this, Christians, biblical Christians anyways, think that the world matters. We think that the physical is important. We think pain is real.
But what I really have a hard time wrapping my head around it the fact that everything that happens, in every place, Jesus is always there, and we can always be glorifying him.
It is hard to believe I could be glorifying Jesus if I were a janitor, or a mechanic. It's almost easier to believe I'm glorifying Jesus when I'm unemployed because then, at least, I can say all sorts of spiritual things about how Jesus is growing me through this time. He's teaching me to wait. That God is at work this. And, all that stuff is true, it's not like its a lie, or I don't believe it. In fact, I need to believe it. I'm just saying, it's weird to think about how much God cares about the incredibly orindary things in life.
God cares about everyday. About Everydayness. That's a good word. (Thank you, Eugene Peterson.)
So how do I remind myself every day about the glory of his creation? Why is it so easy to miss? But it was all made (and still is) so glorious.

God, I thank you that your creation is so glorious!! Please forgive me for how I often do not honor and appreciate you and the great glory of what you have created. God, Lord, would you help me begin to be aware of Jesus in the every day. Jesus entered in with humans 2000 years ago, he lived our life, in fact, lived a perfect life, so he could suffer and die on the cross for us. But now today, Jesus, you live and meet us in the everydayness of life. Would you help me have eyes to see you in the ordinary, and would you meet me every day in this life, in this story which you are writing? I ask this in your precious name. Amen.